Thursday, September 29, 2011

HUSBAND & WIFE JOKES

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears,
 "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."


To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Warning-Untuk Gadis-Gadis

Dalam meniti usia remaja banyak cubaan dan liku-liku hidup yang akan dilalui. Ada yang manis, ada yang masam, ada yang kelat, ada yang payau dan ada yang pahit. Sebagai ibu, kakak juga kawan harap sudilah baca post ini. Zaman ni orang lelaki ramai yang suka mengambil kesempatan dan tak boleh diharap langsung. Sorry to saylah bro.....

Petua yang harus diamalkan oleh anak-anak gadis

1. Jual Mahal (atau jangan jual langsung.....he..he..he...)
 Jangan jual murah apalagi bundle atau free sale atau jadi barang sample. Siapa yang rugi? Orang perempuan jugak. Nanti sibuk pulak nak mengadu kat ruangan kaunseling kat surat khabar. Banyak kita baca kes-kes cinta separuh mati sampai sanggup serahkan jiwa dan raga lepas tu takut nak kahwin, termengandung lepas tu buang baby, bercinta dengan suami orang, kahwin dengan suami orang, ( husband kita cakap perempuan ni buruk perangai.....kalau orang ambik suami dia, dia marah kalau dia ambik suami orang tak apa pulak...) lepas tu ada problem dengan madu pulak.....bukan ke penyakit tu awak yang cari. Hari-hari dah banyak sangat contoh di depan mata atau dalam suratkhabar yang boleh dijadikan ikhtibar (... tak baca suratkhabar kot..sebab baca majalah hiburan aje..)  Macam pepatah orang putih..'look before you jump'..ini tidak dah tau ada longkang besar kat depan matapun nak terjun jugak.

2. Janganlah buat perangai tergedik-gedik.
    Selalunya orang lelaki suka melayan perempuan yang macam ni walaupun sebenarnya diaorang menyampah...ialah bila lagi nak ambik kesempatankan....( sebenarnya perempuanpun tak suka tengok perempuan yang perangai tergedik-gedik ni..)

3. Janganlah mudah cair dengan Ayat-ayat Cinta. Mudah sangat perasan lelaki tu suka kat awak. Diaorang bohong je tu..ialah lidahkan tak ada tulang.Kalau lelaki berhidung belang ni bercakap, gunung pun boleh jadi rata dek kagum dengan ayat-ayat power diorang tu....

4. Yang bertudung untuk menutup aurat. Yang penting sekali maruah kita kena tutup jugak. Jangan buat maksiat dengan buaya friend. Janganlah kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga. Tutup aurat mengikut syariat Islam bukan sekadar berfesyen sahaja. Fesyen sekarang banyak yang tidak mengikut syariat Islam, sendat, ketat, jarang, pendek. Ishhh..ish..pakai tudung tapi sexy dan seksa...

5. Jadi yang terbaikkkk jiwa dan raga. Jaga bahasa dan kelakuan jangan daring sangat. Buruk perangai kalau anak-anak gadis suka mencarut

6. Jangan hipokrit


p/s Kalau ada sister-sister yang nak menambah dan beri komen. Sumbangan kalian amat dialu-alukan. sebagai peringatan kita orang-orang perempuan.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Hari Malas Sedunia!

Den sorang je yang mengistyharkan hari ni Hari Malas Sedunia. Bukan istimewapun hari ni. Memang tidak istimewa langsung. Sebabnya hari ni den masak nasi goreng je untuk dinner family den ( sambal belacan mesti ada..itukan simbol jati diri orang Melayu....He..he..he..)
Kalau husband den tanya masak nasi goreng je..? Den cakapla..hari nikan Hari Malas Sedunia....
Tapi den tak bolehla cakap kuat-kuat kat depan anak-anak den..takut nanti diorang tiru idea den tu...

Untuk peringatan kawan-kawan di luar sana, Hari Malas Sedunia nipun boleh diistyharkan sehari je..hari-hari tak boleh ya...takut nanti akan adanya rusuhan. Bukannya rusuhan kaum, tapi rusuhan suami dan isteri je. Yela...takkan nak makan nasi goreng hari-harikan...sendiri  mau  ingatla...

Friday, September 16, 2011

Happy Malaysia Day!

We are reminded of how fortunate we are to be living in Malaysia and how foreigners love Malaysia. How lucky we are to be Malaysian, to be able to live in this promising land. Thanks to the outstanding economic management by the government. Although few leaders are still living in denial and claiming that the Minister had mislead Malaysia. The tendency to create and raise sensitive and racial issues by certain politician and NGOs will jeopardize harmony and the nation image. They are the ungrateful citizens of Malaysia. Do they benefit from the turmoil that they really wanted? What a shame! What will they think of next?
Please Respect the Solidarity and Sovereignty of my Malaysia!

Malaysian should appreciate peace and the development we enjoyed. But when Malaysian have lost faith in Malaysia to find a greener path, united Malaysian or 'One Malaysia' seems ineffective and stale. Let us persue mutual understanding as a united citizen of Malaysia. We should recall the struggle of our forefathers for Independence to the prosperity and peace of modern Malaysia.

Let us pray and also work hard for Malaysia towards stronger and more peaceful tomorrow.

I love Malaysia!


p/s still hoping Malaysia remains as Malaya

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I HATE SMOKERS!!!!


I've been having cough and sore throat for the past 2 months. I've tried going to the clinic.........PAY a visit to the doctor,... taking antibiotics, lozenges, pastilles, cough syrups..( you named it..ubat batuk cap ibu dan anak, nim jiom pa koh...etc. and traditional remedies too. All of them are ineffective. My ribs felt so pain due to the coughing. My sore throat becoming worse since I did lots of shouting to the kids in the kindergarten ( when they didn't listen to me of course). Till now, my voice had turned very husky that my sister said I sounded like ' jantan operate'.....whatever....

My husband did concerned about my coughing and sore throat and bought all the cough syrups and lozenges for me. ..or because he felt disturbed while sleeping when I coughed at night.
I keep on wandering what is the cause of my coughing?
Then I noticed that my husband have been smoking in the house .... ( he promised not to smoke inside the house...) since men do not like woman to nag, so i keep on giving him hints like coughing in front of him, fanning my hands or newspaper when he starts smoking while watching tv, computer or driving but he just ignored it. If he starts smoking in the living room when talking to me, I'll left him talking to himself. I am not trying to be rude...but I could not stand the cigarettes smoke anymore...and it really annoys me....

One not fine day, I told him that his bad habbit of smoking is the cause of my coughing and sore throat. He did not accept my accusation and told me that I'm too direct. Yes, direct to the point... or in other word too expressive .

Since he did not accept my accusation, I'm thinking of writting a petition to support myself.

So...I need someone to back me up please....

p/s I came accross with ahmadyusrie.wordpress.com blog titled 'I hate ciggars' and I think he can be on my side..

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Raya Boring???

Raya-raya ni tak pegi mana-mana, kita layan tv je kat rumah. Yang boring nya tak ada cerita yang best-best. Asyik-asyik cerita momok, cerita-cerita lawak plastik dan slapstick Professor Razak ala-ala cerita Jutawan Fakir dan Madu4 tu....kalau geng Senario pulak..kalau bercakap tak menjerit tak sah......tapi......dah tak ada cerita layan jugakla...
Adik aku cukup berbulu bila anak-anak dia layan cerita hantu atau cerita momok ni.....sebab apa??? Ialah sampaikan nak ke toilet yang letaknya sekangkang kera dari tv pun nak berteman. Itu belum suruh tutup lampu kat bilik atas....maunya keras tak bergerak..

Tayangla... cerita-cerita yang boleh membina minda dan semangat! Terutamanya minda dan semangat anak-anak Melayu. Kitakan ada banyak contoh biodata-biodata mereka-mereka yang berjaya dalam hidup. Usahawan, jutawan, negarawan, sukarelawan, ahli sukan dan lain-lain hero dan heroin dalam Malaysia ni yang tidak didendangkan ( ' The unsung heroes in Malaysia......)

Ini tak asyik-asyik cerita rempit-merempit dan cerita pasal gangster. Agaknya sebab tula..anak-anak muda sekarang ni suka memberontak. Salah sikit nak mengamuk, silap sikit nak lari dari rumah, tension je nak hisap dadah.....ada problem je...nak telan pil...pil untuk kuda pulak tu...ha..ha..ha...Tapi kalau tak tengok, tak dapat pulak nak menyumbang pada industri perfileman Melayu...macammana tu....????
Tapi aku respect juga pada Afdlin Shauki...tak ada cerita baru ke?
( Sorry! Shamsul 'The Burnsoul'......kita tabiiikkk....kat awak juga sebab...usaha dan karya awak boleh jadi contoh untuk anak-anak muda Melayu yang lain...)


Tapi seingat aku dulu lagi teruk.....bila raya je...cerita sarkis...bila raya je...cerita sarkis....laggggiiiii haruuu....


p/s hari-hari tengok binatang dalam National Geographic pun tak apa...
sebab tak ada manusia dalam dunia binatang tetapi
ada ramai binatang dalam dunia manusia...!!!!



Saturday, September 3, 2011

Kerja Gila!

Satu hari sebelum Raya....dari pukul 9 pagi membawa ke pukul 3 pagi, aku menjahit 41/2 pasang baju kurung moden untuk anak-anak saudaraku seramai 4 orang...ialah 4 orang 4 pasangla...Baju adikku siap bajunya aje..kainnya tak sempat sebab tukang jahit dah mengantuk...takut menjahit masa mengantuk accident pulak! ( Nasib baik laki aku tak bising......)

Satu hari sebelum tu...adikku shopping di pekan Rawang untuk membeli baju raya anak-anak dia. Akupun ikut jugak...memang dia nak belikan baju kurung pasang siap aje....untuk anak-anak dia...pilih punya pilih...ade aje yang tak sesuai.....jadi akupun mencadangkan beli aje kain biar aku tolong jahitkan. Beli kain jauh tu...kat Nagoya........Disebabkan haripun dah nak Maghrib dan nak berbuka, kitaorangpun balikla...

Sebelum tu, ( banyak betul aku punya sebelum de......) semasa ke Rawang, aku , dua anakku dan seorang anak adik No 3, dihantar oleh suamiku...adik ke3 aku bersama seorang lagi anakku dan 3 orang lagi anaknya naik Viva dipandu adik bongsuku..
Cadangan proposalnya bila balik nanti aku, adik ke3 aku dan 2 lagi anakku naik bas aje...yang kecik-kecik tu..biarla naik kereta aje...tetapi memandangkan anak2 saudaraku dah keletihan shopping....diaorang pun mulalah buat perangai....semua merengek-rengek nak ikut emaknya naik bas...

Apalagi, adik bongsuku dah bengang dan naik angin satu badan......semua disuruhnya semua naik kereta. Hah! percaya tak bila aku kira-kira semuanya sebelas orang dalam satu kereta Viva. Tujuh yang besar dan 4 yang kecik. ( Nasib baik adik bongsu ake belum kahwin, kalau tak kat mana pulak nak letak anak dia. Takkan dalam bonet sebab dah penuh dengan barang.

Macam iklan Milo 3 in 1..takpun macam sardin cap ayam tin kecik...sardin tin besar bas No. 43 ke Bandar Country Home...he...he..he
Eish..eish..eish kalau JPJ nampak tentu kena saman punya!


Macam nilah rupanya sardin dalam Viva...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

EID MUBARAK

Selamat Hariraya Aidilfitri untuk semua sanak saudara dan teman-teman bloggers di Malaysia.
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